Posts Tagged ‘Newcastle’
This originally appeared on the Sunderland's Ready to Go message board.
To the tune of Petula Clark's Down Town.
When you're a mag and Keegan fucks off again, you know what's coming next
Doon toon
When you've got Ashley, all his debt and his worries, thinks look bleak, at best
Doon toon
Just listen to the traffic on the way to Bristol City
You'll have to sell old Mickey so your squad is looking shitty
Good times ahead
Playing in the second tier, you can forget about Europe for many a year
Cos you're doon toon, fuckin' deserved as well
Doon toon, look at how far you've fell
Doon toon, Doncaster's waiting for you
Can you recall the days of Shephard and Hall, and love, loving it all?
Doon toon
Maybe you knew (and maybe Keegan did too) back when you signed Xisco
Doon toon
Just listen to the pundits (even Alan on the sofa)
Forget the Geordie Nation, fuckin' well and truly over
ITV1
Your new home of football, no Match of the Day
Enjoy your highlights on Sunday, of Plymouth away
Cos you're doon toon, into the Fizzy Pop
Doon toon, forever to drop and drop
Doon toon, administration for you
Doon toon
Now you may find some Arab who will accidentally buy you
And if you don't, that's OK, cos I hear it's nice in League 2
Bradford, Grimsby...
From the heights of the 90s, Ginola and Beads
You're on the way to oblivion, please say 'hi' to Leeds
Cos you're doon toon, take off your shoes and sing
Doon toon, or 'boycoutt' the whole damn thing
Doon toon, everyone's laughing at you
To an outsider, watching what's been going on at Newcastle this season has been like watching a car crash in slow motion. You could see where they were heading, nothing was going to stop it but you couldn't help watching to the end to see the inevitable outcome.
The man at the wheel has been owner Mike Ashley, and he's made so many mistakes this season he'd be clear winner if there was a worst owner of the season award.
Appointing Dennis Wise to interfere with the manager's job was always going to lead to problems. Kevin Keegan could have stayed and fought for what he believed was right for the club, but it was no surprise when he walked out, he's got previous in that area.
Giving the job to Joe Kinnear seemed to be a bizarre thing to do, he'd been out of the game for years and didn't have the experience of taking on such a high profile, high pressure job. The fans didn't want him, the players didn't perform for him, and he clearly wasn't up to the job mentally or physically.
Then Ashley finally did something the Geordie fans agreed with, he appointed Alan Shearer as manager. Maybe the thought behind it was that it would revitalise the support, and that would transmit to the players who would fight for their Premiership lives. But it didn't work and they should have appointed a manager with experience in this kind of situation. Shearer won five points from his eight games in charge and that sealed their return to the second tier of English football.
The last time they were relegated it took a while to get back up, and they even flirted with relegation to the third tier. They will be favourites to bounce back immediately, but the financial problems relgation will bring, along with the pressure their manager(s) will be under mean it could be much harder than they think. You just have to look at Leeds to see what can happen when "big" teams get relegated from the Premiership.
The Relegation.com manager of the season award will be announced next week. Here are the nominees.
1. Kevin Keegan (Newcastle United)
There's a well known saying in football, "When the going gets tough, Keegan buggers off". Once more "King" Kev showed what he's made of when he left Newcastle in the lurch, just four games into the season. Keegan's departure sparked off a run of seven games without a win which left the club in a relegation battle.
2. Chris Hughton (Newcastle United)
Hughton was twice given the cartaker manager's role during the course of the season, and on each occasion he showed he just wasn't up to the job.
Maybe he'll make a career of it, like Tony Parkes did at Blackburn. Except Parkes knew what he was doing and had the respect of the players.
3. Joe Kinnear (Newcastle United)
It was a major shock when former Wimbledon manager Kinnear was given the job. Kinnear had been out of football for years, and had never had such a high profile job. Initially he was given the club on a caretaker basis, but after several controversial incidents he was doing such a good job taking attention away from Newcastle owner Mike Ashley that he was given the job until the end of the season. Soon after that he was admitted to hospital with heart problems and Hughton took over again.
4. Alan Shearer (Newcastle United)
Football fans thoughout the country rejoiced when Shearer was given the Newcastle job. It meant we wouldn't have to put up with his "expert" analysis on Match of the Day for the rest of the season. When a new manager takes over at a club, you expect him to have an immediate impact. Morale and confidence improve, the crowd gets behind the team and they go on to win their next few games. That didn't happen for Shearer. In his first five games in charge Newcastle won just two points, scoring one goal in the process. They're now in the relegation places with one game to play.